The importance of togetherness

Guillermo and I had lunch with the Chinese interns in the alley near work earlier this week. Lunch in the alley is a casual affair -- grabbing a bowl of noodles or pork sandwich-type thing from the food stands and maybe a piece of fruit from the open air market (more on this in an upcoming food post). On this specific day, Guillermo bought a couple of peaches -- one of which he and I shared.

Later, back in the office, I tried to give He Wei Dong one of the remaining peaches. He declined saying that the peach was too big. To which I replied, "Oh, just share it with your friends!" (Thinking he was just shy about taking my offering).

Well, there was quite a bit of hemming and hawing and some vague "no we don't share" statements which I didn't really understand (maybe he and his roommates didn't get along or something), when suddenly the other intern piped up and said: "We don't share peaches in China like you do in America. Like you and Guillermo did at lunch."

Now at this point it is clear what she means, because Guillermo and I shared the peach without cutting it -- he would take a bite or two of the pear and then hand it to me, and vice versa. So, I quickly clarified that most Americans would not share a peach in this way, but that Guillermo and I were just good friends.

With that somewhat embarrassing detail cleared up (note to self: no more sharing fruit like barbarians), I suggested that He Wei Dong take the peach, cut it into pieces and then share it. But, still he resisted saying that his parents told him sharing a peach would make his mouth [insert strange facial expression with a crooked mouth]. And then he added that they don't share pears either. I was throughly confused, but it was time to go home and I figured we could clarify the next day.

Luckily though Jenny, Peter's wife, is Chinese-American and she was able to explain some of this in more detail over dinner that night. At least the pears part.

The phrase "sharing a pear" is a homophone of "separate" (both are roughly pronounced as "fenli"), and therefore it is considered bad luck to share pears, especially with close friends and family lest you become separated.

This reminded me of an old saying that my grandmother taught to say years ago when you were walking with someone and had to part to avoid and object/person: "bread and butter." According to the word detective the use of "bread and butter" is:

one of a number of rituals children follow, on the order of "step on a crack and break your mother's back," designed to invoke magical protection from bad luck. In this case, the fact that bread and butter "go together" gives the ritual power as an affirmation of togetherness, lest a momentary separation be an omen of permanent one.

(By the way, my grandmother is reading this blog so she might be able to confirm/elaborate on the meaning of this saying. She's way tech savvy. Me so proud!).

As for the peaches, the only clarification I have gotten is that an old legend says your mouth will become crooked if you share a peach. I'm keeping an eye on my mouth for now, and glad that Guillermo and I will be safely together for the next few months of our adventure.


[Dragon fruit, not peaches or pears, pictured above.]